Thursday, September 29, 2011

What legacy will I leave behind

My reason for staying home
This past week and a half feels like we were sucked into a black hole of sorts. September is just about over and I cannot account for the time lapse. I guess that is normal when you are in mourning though.
It is funny where your thoughts go during a time like this. You begin to think more about your own life and the legacy you will leave behind. Will it be a good one or riddled with all of those what if's?
I keep thinking of the role I am playing in my families life. It is almost thirteen years ago now that I made the decision to stay home and raise my children. At the time someone told me that due to my decision I  would never make anything of myself and I was going to become a nobody.
That thought was the pea under my mattress that kept me up at night. I wondered how such an evil thought could even exist.I decided to take that pea and plant it, but instead of nurturing it with all of those negative feelings I gave it love.
 I have created a loving home where my children can always feel safe. I am teaching them to be loving and giving even in the face of adversary. I want them to know that they are a part of this planet and are not entitled to anything but should give thanks in all they receive. I want them to grow into loving adults who will know how to give back. I want them to know how to be loving wives and a husband by seeing how my Husband and I treat each other. There is so much more that has grown out of that pea that words cannot express. I hope my children will see this as my legacy to them.

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